i love not going out and feeling good and healthy. execpt i dont feel healthy yet becase i am not skinny yet and i dont go to the gym. serioulsy like if i just start going every night i will lose weight and be on my way to satisfaction. i need to so bad. for so many reasons. i gross myself out. i refuse to be this way any longer. and im making changes and being powerful and strong. hehe. im so gay! but im going to the library and then out to dinner with parents and blahblah so yea good day not a waste. i like being productive. and i want people to look at me and tihnk i have it all together and like what they see. i miss how i was like worshiped in high school.. all i get here is like being looked down upon and feeling self conscious and nervous about everything going on in my life, and what i look like. i need to make a change if im unhappy and im unhappy so changes ARE being made. birdie flying out of cage. i want a tattttt. nut. adios.